college – Exploring Desires

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When you went away for your freshman year of college I was both excited for you and sad for myself. A normal reaction for a father I am sure. Proud of the woman you were becoming mixed with fear of you being on your own. Being so beautiful I knew those horny frat guys would be all over you, but you were strong so I had to trust you would do the right thing.

Over the first few weeks of you being away I hardly slept, not just worry but the emptiness of the house. It has been just the two of us for so long, I forgotten how quiet and lonely this place was. I started going online and well, doing what single old men do. Playing games and surfing porn to keep my mind busy after work. I found myself addicted to sites like tumblr as they had such a wide variety of everything, and honestly opening my eyes to so many things I would never of imagined to be out there. I had to admit some things peeked my interests. The whole bondage thing, seeing a woman tied to a bed just wanting to be under someones control. Spanking? Jesus the things they use on a woman’s body, and they like this stuff? Oh some of it made my skin crawl too but weeks turned into months and I started to even re-post the things that really aroused me just so I could have them for “playful motivation” later.

You called me to tell me with work and school that coming home over the holiday’s would be impossible and although I understood it really sunk home how little I would see my babygirl again. I joked about keeping busy and although I never mentioned how, I knew you worried a bit. So we started to text more so you could keep an eye on me. Well more time passed by and I continued to keep myself occupied. I found I could write little comments on my posts and get some conversation out of it sometimes. Some were just little comments like “I love your page?” I have a page? what does that even mean. I would thank them and tried to post more. I had a young girl send me a picture of herself, I think they call them selfies but it didn’t have her head, just a, well just her body. Apparently I was not the only people out there aroused by things. She made a weird comment. “Thanks for getting me so hot daddy, here is something to get you hot too.”

She had a rocking little body so of course my mind and body responded to the silly notion a young girl would want an old man. Well let me tell you, after a few searches, they really do want older men. Then by accident really I found why the girl called me daddy in the message. Sort of a role play thing, a father figure thing, and kinky turn on. There was a whole world of created daddy erotica. How odd? That breaks every moral code I was raised in, yet something about it twisted my thoughts. I posted a few things about it and the responses were incredible.

Spring was here now and my mind was full of the idea that maybe you would come home for the summer although you would not commit to it. It drove me nuts to be honest. I missed you so much and well I had started having dreams about you but could not remember them when I woke. Natural I guess. What was not so natural was this fascination I had grown into about taboo themes. It seemed to help me *relieve stress* just as much as the whole bdsm thing did.

On your birthday I posted this happy bday post “to my daughter” without revealing any real information. I have no idea why but I just felt like something I should do. It was totally out of place on my page…oh I know what that is now. I flipped through other posts and shared a few that turned me on, then one him me hard. Just a teen girl sitting in a mans lap and he was touching her. I reflected to the days you use to hop into my lap on the couch when I was watching the game….I felt my cock get hard. Without trying I pictured you curled up in my lap and me touching you. My cock ached, just horny stuff I guess but I had never…….pictured you in that way. I was a bit freaked out by it but blew it off to your bday mixed with kinky porn clouding my mind.

But something was kindled in my mind, I started to dream more and actually remember more of what it was about. Yea I had not just gotten sucked into this kinky stuff to get off, no I craved it for real. Shit….I immediately stopped posting. It didn’t help. I didn’t even log in for several weeks but my mind still took me into daydreams of us. I had to shake this before you got home for the summer.

Well more time passed and although I had quit all the posting and watching, my dreams both day and night turned to forbidden desires. I was hopelessly screwed. I woke to some odd sound this morning. Something thumped in the early hours to jolt me from my dream. I could feel the heavy hard-on under my sleeping pants as I reached down and rubbed it. I looked at the clock it was a little past 6 am so I got out of bed to get in the shower. I presumed the noise that woke me was outside as I did not have any pets until I head the microwave. You were home? Not thinking I hurried down the steps and walked into the kitchen hoping to find you making breakfast. There you stood with a cup of hot tea, with only a pair of panties on.

I didn’t have words. I just looked at you. You smiled and set down the cup on the table. “Well aren’t you happy to see me?” I shook off the trance of your perfect body and moved over to hug you…awkwardly at first but you squeezed me tight. You could see and feel my confusion so you stepped back from our embrace. “So happy you are home…um…so…well…where are your things? your um clothes?” your beautiful laugh and smile followed then you just looked at me. “Daddy I missed you so much….thank you for the birthday message last month.” It took a minute, ok several minutes till I realized you had been reading my page. Then the oh shit look hit my face “Fuck baby I am sorry I can explain….I” You just handed me the tea. “Daddy its ok, I didn’t know it was you at first. I am on there too.” Then as my brain processed this real time nightmare as I looked at your body. The way your nipples puckered tight, The angle of your hips as you stood there. You had been the one who sent me the message…the picture…was you. Oh fuck I jerked off to that a dozen time. “Jesus was it…oh god.” I felt sick. You just walked over and touched my shoulder ..”Daddy its ok, that page was really hot and so I wanted to be something to make the writer hot. I didn’t know until months later when you wished me a happy birthday that is was YOUR page. I was so freaked out thinking about all the times I masturbated…” I stopped you “Oh baby I don’t need to know…I shouldn’t of…I mean…” You looked at me then being the strong bold woman you were you rubbed your hand over the thick erection still pressing in my sleeping pants.

“Daddy we are both adults, we both masturbate, and we obviously are turned on by the same things.” I felt you rub and I tried to process what was happening. You were so comfortable, so confident about it. But then so were most of your generation with your sexuality. “Just tell me one thing, when you got my picture did it make you hot?” I smiled and took a deep breath, “yea baby of course, your gorgeous and I am a single old man. If I had a woman like you I would never stop looking at you.” You hugged me tight and I could feel my hardness pressed to you just as much as your breasts were against my bare chest. You kissed my cheek “Drink your tea daddy I’m home now ok…..” So I did, somehow the awkwardness melted away and we stood there drinking and talking. Teasing a bit as we went on. “Did you cum?” I almost choked…coughing “Wha…what?” you burst out laughing. “Did you cum looking at my picture.” Well shit the gloves were already off anyhow…and the clothes mostly. “Often…” For the first time I saw you flinch since this conversation started. “God why does that make me so hot daddy? You cumming cause of me.” I just smirked back at you “Cause your a naughty girl that’s why!”

So will you tie me up later, spank me, and tell me I am your naughty girl?” We both knew very well that I would!

Got a call from my step daughter about visiting for Father’s weekend at her college. She was very close with her real father but we had always had a special bond. When her mother passed I wondered if she would bother to come home and visit, yet she always made time for me. The house was so cold now, the last few years all I do is work and well………..nothing. My highlights are when I hear from her, see her and to have her invite me for the weekend, I have to admit it was a proud moment for me.

I packed a backpack full of clothes, my old military sleeping bag, and a few bottles of whiskey. I stopped to get a large supply of groceries, things she would need there and even some alcohol for her and her friends. I told her I would get a room at the hotel a few miles out and call her but she insisted I stay in the sorority house. I told her that had to be against the rules but she swore they had several guest rooms set aside for these things and even a men’s bathroom and shower. I drove to campus and after a few hours pulled into the house lot.

She was waiting for me with hands waiving. She hugged me tight arms around my neck and I swung her around as her friends laughed at us. “Hi baby!’ a little kiss on the cheek she gave widened my grin. The girls grabbed the food and booze as I grabbed my gear. They showed me to the room and I unpacked. I was not there 10 minutes before being pulled out of the house to hit the bars. Bar hopping, drinks flying, and young flirty girls teasing the old man. Was a great night and I footed the tab everywhere we went so I became more popular than the muscle bound bartenders that were filling the glasses. All night they showed me the nightlife of the campus until one of her friends lost her legs.

What a sight with me walking down the street with a girl limp in my arms passed out and several others yelling and laughing and hanging on each other as we got back to the house. Several odd looks and when her friend sat up in my arms kissed me on the lips then barfed over my shoulder down my back my daughter squealed. I told her not to worry about it, ‘first kiss I had had in 3 years and even longer than I have had so much fun.’ I got the sick one upstairs and we tucked her in bed. Then I wished them all a good night and went to my room. Grabbing a pair of sleeping pants and my shower stuff I headed to the men’s bathroom to shower.

I stripped off my shirt and threw it in the trash. I turned on the shower and let the steam fill the room. undressing I climbed in and let the hot water cascade down my body with a bit of a buzz laughter rolled from my lips as I started to lather my hair. As I was cleaning the (wild night) off my neck and shoulder, the sick one was laying in bed holding her head and hoping the spinning would stop. She realized what she had done and felt so guilty. She climbed out of bed feeling the next wave rising she rushed into the bathroom and released the flood gates while praying for forgiveness. I could hear her and turned off the water, I knew she had no idea she was in the men’s bathroom, nor did she care right now. As I stepped out she turned red faced as she saw me. I quickly grabbed her hair in my fist to hold it out of her face as she lunged again. She had it in her hair and down her top. I take her to the sink and help clean her up. "You will be ok, I know you don’t feel that way right now but you will. We have all been there.” I helped her up and got her a glass of water. "You need some sleep.“ She just nodded embarrassed by it all and headed quickly out.

I brushed my teeth and headed to bed. It really was a killer night, reminded me of my days in school. Made me miss it to be honest, the wild freedom of it. I drifted off to sleep. I never heard her come in but in a dazed sleep a soft touch had slipped into my pants as I felt kisses along my chest. It was a dream as I opened my eyes to find her looking at me, lips pressed to my stomach and her hand stroking me inside my sleeping pants. I realized this was no dream as I watched her start to tug off my bottoms wearing only her bra and panties. "You took such good care of me tonight I think I owe you something in return.” I started to protest but nothing came out of my mouth. She lifted my semi hard cock to her lips and started to suck. I had forgotten what it felt like and all I could do was lay back and watch her taste me. I was rock in minutes as she gasped a little. She sat up and unclasp her bra then leaned down and rubbed them up and down my now wet cock. What was happening. She moved over my body till it pulsed heavy against her “grab my hair like you did in the bathroom.”

I slid my fingers in and wrapped her hair in my fist as she moved back down and swallowed my cock. I groaned lightly as my hips lifted up into the slow deep bob of her mouth. I started to pull her off as I was about to cum but she grabbed my arm and buried me in her throat. I erupted so hard I could not even breath for a moment. I let go of her hair as she licked me clean, then pulled my pants back up and climbed up to me. She kissed me “Thanks for being so caring, my dad would of just laughed at me tonight.” She grabbed her bra and slid out of my room with a wink. Holy fuck that felt good. I slept deeply and when my daughter came to wake me up for breakfast I had missed my alarm.

When we got down to the hall they were all there eating and laughing about last night. I got a hug and another kiss from the little sick one and I could see my daughter was a bit put off by it. "Sorry daddy she gets crazy sometimes.“ I just hugged her "It’s ok, I don’t mind them being wild and playful, reminds me of my days here.” We ate and had a full day of activities set up by the sorority. They took the dad’s to the football game, had a pie eating contest for charity (I came in 2nd), followed by a formal dinner. When I got to her room to pick her up she was standing there with the girls in a long flowing dress. "So beautiful wow baby, girls you all look beautiful.“ They all looked amazing but she was stunning. I heard one of them say I was a hottie under their breath and I acted as I had not heard it just smiled a bit wider.

A few of the other dads were with us for this part. The dinner was all prim and proper. I had a hard time keeping my eyes off of her as she had become a woman here at school. The way she held herself with others, she really seemed like she knew who she was inside. I was beaming as the word "step” never came into an introduction or conversation. The dinner ended and everyone rushed back to the house to get ready for another night out. Watching them all hurry across the yard with high heels on, laughing and pulling all the old men around was comical. I went back to my room and changed, shortly after it was another night of parties, drinking jello shots and odd fruity drinks mixed in large jugs. Not my taste but I played along as it was a great night. I noticed many of the dad’s again where not here, I was glad I was not one of those tired old men yet. I actually felt more alive than I had in years, maybe it was the blowjob at bedtime. I laughed to myself as I caught the eye of the girl and she bit her lip at me. I started to worry as she got drunk again if her whispers to friends was a confession of last night and with some of the wide eyes I got later in the evening I knew it was right to worry. God what would my daughter think if she knew what happened.

As the bars closed down I found many of them needed a strong arm to help them get back including my own girl. She was very clingy tonight and I didn’t notice till we got back and everyone went their own way. "Good night baby, I am going to hop in the shower and get some sleep, see you at breakfast.“ she turned to go in her room but turned back to me "Um daddy can I talk to you for a min.” I looked at her and she obviously had something on her mind.
“Sure honey of course, you ok?” I took her hand and we walked into her room as she closed the door. "I don’t know how to say this…“ there was something really spinning in her head. "Well we have never kept anything from each other and you know you can tell me anything.”

“She told everyone she…….you know.” I sat down on the bed. "I am so sorry baby, I know you’re mad, I was half asleep and she snuck in, it felt so…..well it has been so long…ugh damn I’m sorry. You want me to leave, I didn’t mean to screw things up.“ She sat down beside me ‘Do you think she is pretty? Prettier than I am?” The question caught me off guard. "Well you have lots of pretty friends but you are incredibly beautiful baby, why?“ She set her hand on my thigh. "God I just want you to think I am pretty…” was this the booze talking? “……I have always been a bit jealous of what mom had with you before she…”

“Whoa, hey I loved your mom, just like I love you. You are everything to me, I am sorry I screwed up what you think of me by what happened.” I felt like a real dick. "You didn’t. My friends think you are the greatest even more now since they heard about your…..size.“ My jaw dropped "I know you have not dated since mom, I just wish I had been the one to make you feel good.” I didn’t catch what she meant “Baby you always make me feel good, you inviting me here was one of the happiest moments I have had in forever….” she shook her head “No I wish, I wish I was the one who snuck in to your room” and with that she leaned over and kissed me. It was not the father daughter kisses we had shared over the years. "Baby you don’t mean that….you are just buzzing and….“ I saw her eyes well up.

"Daddy I have wanted to be attractive to you, like you are to me. I hear my friends always saying how sexy you are, how they wish you were there dad, and well things….and I guess….” she rested her head on my shoulder. Was it wrong to be aroused by the idea of it? "You are incredibly sexy but. Look I would do anything to make you as happy as you make me, but I think its just the alcohol and excitement talking.“ I lay her back as she looked up at me and I pulled up the covers. "Good night baby get some sleep.” I kiss her forehead and head to my room. I pulled out what I needed to shower and what I was wearing home in the morning before packing the rest of my bag. I went down and climbed in the shower. I closed my eyes and let the water run down my body wishing the erection I had right now was not real. I was attracted, but it was wrong and as I washed my body I had images of her running in my mind. I started to stroke my cock when she stepped into the bathroom. She undressed and stepped in behind me “Daddy don’t turn me away, its not the alcohol I promise you I know what I am confessing.” I felt her arms hug around me from behind and her hand lay over mine and start to stroke. I could feel her pebbled nipples pressed to my back. I did love her, I did want her too and as forbidden as it was I stood there as she stroked my cock in the shower.

I groaned at her loving touch and kisses on my back before turning to face her. "My god you have no idea how much I love and want you" she kissed my chest and ran her hand up and down my cock faster. Then kneeling with the water rushing over our bodies she took me in her mouth. Her eyes holding mine as I caressed her face. We shouldn’t but we did. She prepared my body then stood and turned to the wall. She bent and opened her petals to me as she pulled me into her. When my thick crown pushed into her she whimpered and pushed back into me. We flowed with each other as she looked back with passion in her eyes. I kissed her and rocked my hips slow. Our bodies were on fire as I made love to her. My hands cupping her firm breasts, moans escaping as I gently twisted her nipples. When I felt her cum her head slumped down as she moved harder and faster into each thrust I gave. She came again “I needed you daddy.” whispered on her lips as she pulled her body off of me and turned. She fell to her knees again and jerked my throbbing cum soaked cock into her soft lips. She licked and sucked and drained me as I held onto her shoulders.

She stood up and wrapped me in a warm embrace and we silently held each other in the shower. "I want to sleep with you tonight with you leaving tomorrow, ok" She lifted up on her tiptoes and kissed me again as I nodded. We headed to my room and she locked the door. She slipped into bed and as I lay down she curled up on my chest and fell asleep. I lay there for an hour rubbing her back and knowing that our special bond just became more than I could ever dream of.